As children, we eagerly waited for the day when we’d be adults. It seemed like the ultimate goal: freedom, independence, and the ability to do whatever we wanted. The idea of becoming an adult was sold to us like the ultimate prize. But the reality? Well, that’s a different story.
Welcome to adulthood, where life’s realities hit hard. Bills, responsibilities, and the never-ending pressure to have it all figured out can make you want to go back in time and shake your younger self. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned after over a decade of adulthood, it’s that life after your 20s doesn’t go according to any neatly planned script.
Here are the five hard truths about life after your 20s that no one ever told you.
1. No One Really Knows What They’re Doing
Remember when you were younger, and you thought adults had it all figured out? They seemed confident, knowledgeable, and like they had the answers to everything. But as you step into adulthood yourself, it quickly becomes clear: everyone is just winging it. Your parents, your teachers, even your role models—like Steve from Blue’s Clues—were just as lost as you are. Everyone is simply navigating their own journey, figuring things out as they go. And that’s okay. You’re not alone in your confusion, even though social media and the seemingly perfect lives of others may make you think otherwise.
2. Society’s Timeline is a Lie
From a young age, society sets a timeline for what success should look like: graduate from college, land a great job, get married, buy a house, and have kids—all by a certain age. But here’s the truth: that timeline doesn’t apply to everyone. Not everyone wants the same things, and not everyone follows the same path. I remember graduating college during an economic downturn, struggling to find a job, while my peers seemed to have everything together. I took a job I didn’t even want, and for the longest time, I questioned if I’d made the right choices. But eventually, I realized that life doesn’t follow a timeline. It’s not a race, and you’re allowed to take the scenic route. The key is to follow your own passions, find what makes you happy, and pursue it unapologetically.
3. Isolation and Disconnect Are Inevitable
As we grow older, it’s easy to lose touch with friends and family. The busy pace of life—work, relationships, new responsibilities—often means that socializing falls by the wayside. You might even notice that your social circle is shrinking, or that the connections you once had don’t feel as strong. Social media can make it worse, creating a paradox where we feel connected to everyone but emotionally disconnected. But here’s a thought: instead of endlessly scrolling, take the time to reconnect with people. Go out and nurture real relationships. Invest in the bonds that matter. Social media doesn’t replace the joy of genuine human connection, and we shouldn’t let it.
4. Loss Is a Natural Part of Adulthood
Adulthood brings with it an inevitable layer of loss. The older you get, the more you realize that things aren’t as permanent as you once thought. You’ll lose loved ones, watch parents grow older, and witness changes you can’t control. But it’s not just about the loss of family members; it’s also about the loss of the carefree youth you once had. Gone are the days of eating whatever you want, sleeping in late, and bouncing back from injuries overnight. I had dreams of becoming a professional athlete, but as I got older, I realized that dream was no longer attainable. Letting go of that ambition was hard, but it also opened the door for new passions to emerge—like creating a meaningful YouTube channel. The loss is bittersweet, but it allows for growth and new opportunities.
5. A Fulfilling Life Doesn’t Just Happen—You Have to Create It
When we were younger, life felt like it came with a syllabus: go to school, graduate, get a job, and everything else would follow. But in adulthood, there’s no syllabus. The responsibility for crafting a fulfilling life is now yours. And it can be terrifying. The waiting for a “big break” might seem like the right thing to do, but the reality is that nothing is going to magically fall into your lap. It’s up to you to take action. Create the life you want, even if it’s scary. You’ll have to step out of your comfort zone, face your fears, and take risks. But it’s those very risks that lead to the kind of life you can be proud of.
Final Thoughts: Embrace the Journey
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in adulthood, it’s that everyone is navigating their own journey at their own pace. Society’s expectations are not the gospel, and your path is yours to create. It might not be as glamorous as you imagined, but it’s yours to craft and own. Stop comparing yourself to others, take risks, and chase what brings you joy and fulfillment.
Remember, adulthood doesn’t come with a map. But the beauty of it is that you get to chart your own course.