If Life Is a Race, Why Are We All Running Different Courses?
Imagine you’re at the starting line of a marathon. The gun goes off, and you begin running, only to realize that some runners are sprinting ahead, while others take a more leisurely pace. Some even seem to be taking entirely different paths. That’s what your 20s feel like—a race where everyone appears to be moving at different speeds, making it impossible to tell if you’re ahead, behind, or on the right track at all.
Now, at 34, I’ve had enough time to look back and see things more clearly. If I could sit down with my 20-year-old self, these are the 34 hard-earned lessons I’d pass on. If you’re in your 20s, I hope these insights help you find clarity, confidence, and direction in a world that often feels overwhelming.
1. You Don’t Need to Have It All Figured Out
There is a societal pressure to have your career, relationships, and future planned out. But life isn’t a straight line—it’s a winding road. Your 20s are for learning, experimenting, and discovering what truly matters to you. Don’t stress about the unknown; embrace it.
2. Stop Obsessing Over Your “Dream Job”
Instead of chasing a perfect job title, focus on skills and work that excites you. Many people end up in fulfilling careers they never envisioned. Your passion will evolve, and so will your opportunities.
3. Learn the Art of Saying No
Every time you say yes to something unimportant, you’re saying no to something that could serve you better. Guard your time and energy fiercely.
4. Your Network Is Just as Important as Your Skill Set
Talent alone won’t open doors. Connections matter. Build relationships with people who inspire and challenge you—they’ll provide opportunities, advice, and support you didn’t even know you needed.
5. Invest in Emotional Intelligence, Not Just IQ
Success isn’t about being the smartest person in the room. Emotional intelligence helps you navigate setbacks, build resilience, and strengthen relationships. Work on your self-awareness, empathy, and communication skills.
6. There’s No Right Career Timeline
Some people peak in their 20s; others in their 40s or later. Stop comparing yourself to others. Success is not a linear process.
7. Let Go of Outdated Dreams
What you wanted at 20 may not align with who you are at 30. Allow yourself to evolve. Clinging to old aspirations can hold you back from discovering new passions.
8. Failure Is the Best Teacher
I tried to launch a nutritional supplement company in my 20s. It flopped. But the experience taught me resilience, business acumen, and skills that led me to future successes. Failure isn’t the end; it’s a stepping stone.
9. Take Risks Early
You have fewer responsibilities in your 20s. Now is the time to start a business, switch careers, travel, or take that unconventional path. Risks only get harder with age.
10. Self-Doubt Never Fully Goes Away
Even in your 30s and 40s, imposter syndrome can creep in. The key is learning to act despite the fear, not waiting for it to disappear.
11. Learn How to Budget Before You Need To
Not tracking your finances now will cost you later. Budgeting, saving, and investing early will set you up for financial freedom.
12. Mental Health Is Just as Important as Physical Health
In my 20s, I ignored my mental well-being. Later, I was diagnosed with ADHD and depression. If I had prioritized mental health earlier, life would have been easier. Therapy, mindfulness, and rest aren’t luxuries—they’re necessities.
13. Build Systems, Not Just Goals
Goals are great, but without daily habits to support them, they’re just dreams. Focus on creating systems that make progress inevitable.
14. Trust Your Instincts Over Others’ Opinions
Everyone has an opinion on what you should do. But you are the one who lives with your choices. Learn to trust your gut.
15. You Don’t Need a Perfect Relationship to Be Happy
Stop chasing the idea of a perfect partner. Focus on building a fulfilling life on your own, and the right relationship will complement it.
16. Stop Comparing Yourself to Social Media Highlight Reels
The people you admire struggle too—they just don’t post it online. Run your own race.
17. Your reputation matters more than you think
The way people perceive you can open or close doors in your personal and professional life. Guard your integrity and follow through on your commitments.
18. You don’t have to be friends with everyone
Quality over quantity applies to friendships, too. Surround yourself with people who inspire, support, and challenge you to grow.
19. Your 20s set the foundation for your 30s
The habits, relationships, and skills you build now will determine where you land a decade from now. Be intentional.
20. Your health is an investment, not an expense
Skipping workouts, eating poorly, and neglecting sleep may not seem like a big deal now, but your future self will pay the price.
21. Being busy isn’t the same as being productive
Filling your schedule doesn’t mean you’re making progress. Learn to prioritize what truly moves the needle in your life.
22. Small, consistent efforts lead to big results
Success rarely happens overnight. Show up, put in the work, and trust the process.
23. Financial literacy is a superpower
Understanding how money works—budgeting, investing, and saving—will save you from years of stress and struggle.
24. Not every relationship is meant to last forever
Some people are in your life for a season, and that’s okay. Learn the lessons and move forward.
25. Saying ‘no’ is a skill you need to master
Every ‘yes’ to something you don’t want is a ‘no’ to something that actually matters. Protect your time and energy.
26. Success looks different for everyone
Stop comparing your journey to someone else’s highlight reel. Define what success means to you and chase that.
27. Most people don’t think about you as much as you think they do
Stop overanalyzing every mistake or awkward moment—chances are, nobody remembers it but you.
28. Happiness comes from progress, not perfection
Waiting until everything is “perfect” before you start will leave you stuck. Start now, improve along the way.
29. Networking isn’t about collecting contacts—it’s about building relationships
The strongest opportunities often come from genuine connections, not just handing out business cards.
30. Your comfort zone will suffocate you
Growth comes from discomfort. Seek challenges, take risks, and put yourself in situations that force you to evolve.
31. Your parents were right about more things than you’d like to admit
The advice you rolled your eyes at? It’ll start making a lot more sense in a few years.
32. No one has it all figured out
Even the people who seem confident are just doing their best and figuring things out as they go. You’re not alone.
33. Your time is your most valuable resource
You can always make more money, but you can’t get back wasted years. Be intentional about how you spend your time.
34. The best investment you’ll ever make is in yourself
Read books, learn new skills, and take care of your body and mind. The returns on self-improvement are lifelong.
Final Thoughts
If you’re in your 20s and feeling uncertain, just know that you’re not alone. Every 30-something (and beyond) looks back and sees how much unnecessary pressure they put on themselves. So take a breath. Focus on growth over perfection. And trust that you’re exactly where you need to be.