Have you ever had that moment when someone close to you says something that completely rattles your self-esteem? Imagine meeting a friend for coffee, sharing laughs and light conversation, when suddenly they drop a bombshell: “You’re not good at anything.” Ouch. How could someone you trust say something like that? But what if that statement isn’t the harsh truth—what if it’s a lie we’ve been telling ourselves for years?
We all have an inner critic, that voice inside our head that often acts as the harshest judge and jury. It’s easy to think that we’re not good at anything when this voice tells us we aren’t measuring up. Yet, the truth is, we all have hidden talents and strengths—we just need to know where to look.
The Lie We Tell Ourselves
We tend to undervalue ourselves, especially when we’re stuck in negative thought patterns. Maybe you’re in your 20s, 30s, 40s, or even older, and still haven’t figured out your true strengths. It’s easy to feel like you’re missing something—like everyone else has it together while you’re still trying to find your footing. But that’s simply not the case. It’s time to stop doubting yourself and start discovering the unique strengths that are already within you.
Step 1: Revisit Past Successes
Start by thinking about a moment in your life that brought you a sense of pride. Maybe it was a small victory, like finally getting your laundry done or hitting a fitness goal. It doesn’t have to be anything grandiose. For me, I think back to when I managed to pull myself out of a deep, dark period in my life. A year and a half ago, I was depressed, broke, and unsure of where I was headed. I struggled with a massive social media addiction and watched others succeed while I felt stuck.
But when I looked back at the small victories—like graduating college with honors despite having ADHD, or simply getting out of bed every morning when everything seemed bleak—I realized those were the moments that built my strength. It was in those small successes that I discovered leadership qualities and problem-solving skills I hadn’t given myself credit for.
Reflect on your own life. What moments made you proud? What skills did you use to get through tough times? These small victories, while seemingly insignificant, are the building blocks of your unique skill set.
Step 2: Seek Feedback from Others
Next, turn to those around you—your friends, family, and colleagues. They often see strengths in you that you can’t see in yourself. I vividly remember a conversation I had with my best friend in my mid-20s, when I felt completely lost. I asked him, “What do you think I’m good at?” He rattled off qualities and strengths I had no idea I possessed, and that conversation opened my eyes to abilities I had completely overlooked.
Friends and family act as mirrors, reflecting back to us the talents we might not see. But be prepared for honest feedback, even if it’s not what you want to hear. Sometimes, we get caught up in an idea of what we should be doing, only to discover through conversation that we’re better suited for something completely different. I thought I was destined to be a personal assistant to a successful entrepreneur, only to realize that I had the potential to build my own success. That conversation changed my entire outlook on my abilities.
Step 3: Be Open to New Experiences
One of the best ways to uncover hidden talents is through trying new things. When I was in college, I interned for different companies, each time thinking I had found my calling. I worked for Quicksilver, hoping to break into the surf industry, only to discover it wasn’t the right fit. Then I interned for Jimmy Kimmel, thinking I wanted to work in Hollywood, only to realize that wasn’t my dream either. It was frustrating to see everyone around me finding clear paths while I was still wandering, but those internships taught me more about myself than I could have imagined.
Trying new things, especially things that seem unorthodox or absurd, can help uncover skills you never knew you had. I learned valuable lessons from those early experiences, and they ultimately led me to create my YouTube channel, something I never would have considered if I hadn’t stepped outside my comfort zone.
Step 4: Learn from Your Failures
Finally, it’s essential to embrace failure as a stepping stone. We often think of failure as a negative experience, but it’s one of the most important tools for growth. I spent five years trying to grow a nutritional supplement company that ultimately shut down. At first, I saw it as a failure, a waste of time. But when I changed my perspective, I realized I had gained valuable insights into marketing, business, and IT that I could apply in the future. Failure wasn’t the end—it was a learning opportunity that set me up for future success.
Failures teach us what works, what doesn’t, and what we need to focus on next. It’s not about avoiding failure; it’s about learning from it and using those lessons to guide you toward your true calling.
Let Go of Limiting Beliefs
It’s time to let go of the limiting beliefs that hold you back. You are good at something—you just need to take the time to discover what it is. By reflecting on past successes, seeking feedback, trying new things, and learning from your failures, you will unlock your hidden talents and create a path toward growth and success.
So, if you’ve ever felt like you’re not good at anything, remember: it’s not the truth. The truth is that you have unique strengths, and all it takes is a little introspection, feedback from others, and a willingness to step into the unknown.
What are you going to do this year to uncover your strengths and passions? Share with me in the comments, and let’s make 2024 the year you step into your true potential.